Many of the lessons I’ve learned in this journey have asked me to find out my why. Why do I drink? Why is it that I turn to alcohol all the time? Many of my answers were because I thought it made whatever I was participating in a happy time. When I look back at my initial journal responses about why I think I want/need alcohol it was apparent I thought I needed alcohol in every, single event or situation to make me happy.

A couple of the authors I’m reading have suggested that maybe looking at these situation and really asking yourself what makes you happy about them. Is it the alcohol or is it the actual event, situation or the people that are there? Nearly 100% of the activities we’re involved in include alcohol, from weddings, funerals, graduations, birthday parties (including kid’s birthdays), barbecues, and also just everyday drinking. So how can you know what things really make you happy if in every situation you’ve been drinking or drunk?

I was going through my Facebook feed the other day and one of my friends had traveled with her family to South Africa and they had visited a winery. Her post had all of these beautiful pictures of the winery and of the wine in beautiful wine glasses. I immediately had this sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) and sadness. Like, I’ll never get to experience that again. Then I immediately changed my thought process and thought, why can’t I? I can still do these things. Just because I go to a winery, doesn’t mean I have to drink. This is the mindset and brainwashing that has gone on all these years. That if you go to a winery, you drink wine. You go to a bar, you have a cocktail. You go to a wedding, you drink. You have dinner, you drink.

For one, I can go to a winery and be the designated driver. For another, I can enjoy water and snacks and I will be the only one who will remember everything. And I will be the only one waking up the next day without a hangover. All bonuses in my book!

Start questioning your why. What do you do that makes you happy? Why does alcohol have to be a part of it? Do an experiment. Think of one thing you do that you think makes you happy in which you’ve always drank and try it just once without drinking. I think you’ll discover one of two things. First, you might find out that the event or situation is what makes you happy, not the alcohol. And, second, if you don’t have fun without drinking, maybe this situation is something you actually don’t enjoy doing.

Just ask why…