I am not going to start this post by apologizing for my blog post yesterday, “punching bag”. I was in a very dark place and needed to express myself the best way I knew how.
I haven’t been that far down in the hole in a long time. It’s frightening to me to think how I got there and what would happen if the circumstances in my life at that time hadn’t turned out the way they did. Getting my dog, for now, safe and sound in my care, at home. My thoughts go to people in my life who’ve suffered so much, like the loss of a child, and how in the world they find the courage to go on.
As I did my morning meditation practice, the title of the session was “unbroken”. This lesson enforced the concept that we are not perfect beings. That we are imperfect and to believe that this is who we are and to try to learn to accept our flaws and allow worthiness in our world and hearts. I’m reminded of Trisha Yearwood’s song Broken. The chorus rang through my head this morning as I finished my mindfulness practice:
I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing. With a broken heart that’s still beating. In the pain, there is healing. In your name, I find meaning. So I’m holding on….I may have lost my way now, but haven’t forgotten my way home…
I had so many of my friends and family reach out to me yesterday offering me encouragement and words of support and love. Most of which was about having faith and believing that everything will be okay, no matter the outcome. I know I have come a long way this past couple of years. I am hanging on for another day. I have hope for a bright future, despite the road blocks in the way. I am eternally grateful for this life and am building a strong foundation for dealing with whatever it brings.
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