200 days of AF

The significance of the number 2. As I’m writing this the date is 8/22/22 and I’m celebrating 200 days of AF. I am a believer that there are other forces at work in our world and that everything is just not a mere coincidence. I believe things happen for a reason.

When I googled “significance of the number 2” this number is associated with symbolizing balance, prosperity, teamwork, peace and harmony. However, the number 2 essentially symbolizes partnerships. The terms balance, prosperity, peace and harmony definitely apply to my journey. But teamwork and partnerships didn’t resonate until I read that the number 2 can also signify becoming a better version of yourself. And that speaks volumes to me.

As I’m going through my journey, I’ve uncovered some interesting things about my drinking. I learned that it likely started back in high school as a method to help me fit in. I learned that I drank because of chronic pain. To help me sleep. To help relieve stress. To enhance my world. But what I didn’t realize is that all along I was suppressing so many of my emotions and that version of my young self, that one before alcohol took roots, was slowly dying. But as my journey continues, I’m slowly discovering that younger version of myself.

I liken it to looking into a mirror. The reflection I was seeing these past 10 years or so, showed a woman who was aging faster than she should’ve. Bags under her eyes, wrinkles showing up faster and faster, bloodshot eyes, dry skin, brittle and breaking hair. Over the past 200 days, when I look in the mirror I’m starting to see that youthful person coming back. I have partnered with myself…the young kid before alcohol touched her lips and the woman she grew into where alcohol was a part of her everyday life…and they’re melding into the woman she should’ve been all along.

Part of me is sad that it took me all these years to make the changes. That what a waste of my 20s, 30s and 40s when I could’ve been embracing this life without the numbing effects of alcohol. But that is part of my journey, I guess. Learning to let go, forgive and love myself for what I’m becoming.

4 responses to “200 days of AF”

  1. What a thoughtful post. Forgiveness is so important in any type of healing. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dianeb89345ed70 Avatar

    Oh Jennifer, this blog post is so precious. I want to RE-read it everyday!! Every word you write resonates with me and my soul!! You are a beautiful writer and an even more beautiful human!! I’m so glad to on our Path together!!
    And BIG congratulations on your Day 200 AF!! 👏Be so proud!!🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg you just made my day!! Maybe someday our paths can cross in person!!??


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