21 days after I started my alcohol free adventure, I started the 30 Day Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace. http://thisnakedmind.com. This program offers daily videos and emails loaded with information about getting sober, the danger of alcohol and tons of activities and exercises to help you delve into possibly why you drink. I found myself looking forward to each and every video, working it into my morning routine and looking forward to activities that would help keep me on track. One of the first activities she has you do is writing down a list of all of the reasons you drink, then a list of all the reasons you want to stop. This was mind blowing, for me. This is when I discovered that likely I started drinking (in high school) because I was trying to numb the physical pain I was in. I also believe I began drinking at such a young age, like so many of us, for courage and trying to fit in. But, for me, it was mostly about trying to manage my pain.

When I was in 8th grade, right before our winter break, my best friend and I were goofing off at school during recess. We were inside the gymnasium, playing “king of the mountain”, on the bleachers. She pushed me off and I lost my footing and fell from the top of the bleachers, on my butt. 8 month later, after multiple doctor’s visits, they finalized identified the problem. I had herniated a disc at L4-5. I was losing function in my left leg, including a drop foot. I have always been tiny, small framed, and luckily no weight issues. I was in ballet, and was actually very good at it. Sadly, I had to stop ballet and I have always regretted that. So, in August of 1982, right before beginning my freshman year in high school, I went in for surgery to repair the herniation. Because I was so young, and actually in great shape, no weight issues, I bounced back from that surgery very quickly. I was riding my bike the next week. I was 14 years old, I took my first drink and began drinking consistently when I was 15.